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Struggling

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depressedsadgirlfence_GdeFonI never expected to jump back into writing easily, I just didn’t think it would be such a struggle. What do you write about when you’ve been stuck in a football mom(I know the cliche is soccer Mom but it’s the same with football, believe me)/housewife rut for two decades? No one wants to read about my humdrum life since a lot of people read to escape the monotony of their own lives. They want to be inspired, they want excitement.

As I sit in my car, parked in the lot across from the football field, I wonder how I’ll ever find something interesting to write about. You see, I do this at least four times a week. I hide in my car waiting for my son to finish practice. I watch the clique of other football moms, all confident and skinny, congregating on the sidelines while they sip their steamy hot chocolate.  They seem like such good friends.

I don’t have many close girlfriends anymore. I used to but after a while we drifted apart and I’ve just never been able to connect to anyone. When did I become so antisocial? I know, kids, husband and life gets in the way but other people seem able to do it. Why not me? Probably a confidence issue. Sometimes I feel like I’m back in high school.

I’ll divulge some personal information here. Like many women my husband became my best friend. That should be a good thing, except recently I found out he cheated on me. We’re going to therapy, he says he really wants to work it out. Problem is, I still love him but I don’t really like him anymore. Does that make sense? I lost my best friend.

Enough of the boo hoo story. Practice is over. Time to go home and make dinner.

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About Marnie

Writer, photographer, crafter & crappy chef

3 responses »

  1. Believe it or not, people DO want to read what you have to say.

    Thank you for following my blog, as I am also following yours and look forward to reading through it.

    Confidence is a tough thing, but don’t let anyone other than you define who you are and what your potential can be.

    Reply
  2. i’m starting at your beginning…I’m sorry for your loss of your best friend.

    Reply

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