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Monthly Archives: January 2013

Please, don’t pinch me….

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kiss on the beach

I must be dreaming.  Seriously.

Okay, let’s analyze this.  We’re two people in unhappy marriages.  Our spouses are fooling around with each other.  I think anyway.  I don’t even know if they’re together anymore.  As it turns out, neither of us has had sex in a while, me longer than him.  And we’re unhappy in our marriages.  Wait, I already said that.

But I feel so good.  I really missed this feeling.  The electricity that runs through your body when you think of that person.  It’s like a current that shoots out of your….hoo haa.  I can’t sit still.  I want him all the time.  I’m in big trouble.

We’ve been together two times since I wrote last.  Two amazing times.  Once in the city again and the other wrapped up in blankets on the freezing cold beach.

This is bad but somehow good.  I’ve been happier at home.  Even pleasant to Eric.  I’m just happy.  He has to know something is up.  He doesn’t seem to happy though.  I guess Cindy doesn’t do the same for him.  Too bad.  Boo hoo Eric.  Maybe go back to the Cee U Next Tuesday you were doing at work.  Jack ass.

Never mind him.  I want to stay happy. I wonder how long we can keep this going.  I’d really like to NOT disrupt my daughter’s senior year, next year.  Can we make it that long?  I think I should have had an affair years ago.


New Episode of Wife Swap! Top secret edition…shhhhh.

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Romantic champagne

Day one back at the Club, I ran into Ryan.  Didn’t even make it to the hot tub.  He said we needed to talk, he hadn’t seen me since New Year’s Eve.  Could I get together later?

“I can’t.  I have to do Mom stuff.”

“How about now?” he asked.  Then he smiled sweetly and said, “Sorry…I don’t want to ruin your workout.”

Hmmm….I was taking the higher ground.  Really I was.  But I agreed.

So we parked by the beach and talked.  Talked a little about what happened New Year’s.  It turns out Ryan is a bigger person than his wife and most of their friends.  He didn’t think what happened was my fault at all.  He didn’t mention the “powder incident”, thank goodness because I don’t know how I’d explain that.  “Well, you see Ryan, I had the hots for you and your wife is a horrible bitch.  It was my natural impulse.”  We exchanged some other little chit-chat and then…the bombshell.  Or so he thought.

“I don’t know how to tell you this Nicole.  I don’t want to hurt you but you need to know.  Cindy and your husband are having an affair.”  He took my hand in his.  By my vacant expression I’m sure he thought I was shocked over this news but in fact I was thinking…this might be my “in”.  If I’m upset he’ll want to console me.

And the Academy Award goes to…Nicole for Crying Over My Cheating Husband!  I didn’t overdo it.  Just enough to get a little close and just enough to make him want to see me again…you know, as a friend.  A shoulder to cry on.  Did I mention how broad his shoulders are?

So…the next day, Sunday, I hit the hot tub and that night I met Ryan in New York.  He’s an attorney and works in the city.  He lied to the wife, told her he had tons of work to do.  Work to do on a Sunday night?  She only bought it because she wanted him out of there.  I took the train and met him outside of his office.  The hardest part was trying not to look happy.  I had to find that perfect in between.  Not so depressed that I was a bummer to be with and not so happy he’d question if I had any emotions at all.

We went to dinner.  A small, intimate place.  He ordered us some champagne, which led to cocktails.  We nibbled on some kind of shrimp and our chairs inched closer after every drink.  Two hours, two appetizers barely eaten, one bottle of Dom and at least five cocktails later….he kissed me.  It started out sweet and tender but ended with us tearing off each other’s clothes back at his office.

It was like a scene from a movie.  Kissing passionately in the elevator, no one else was in there of course.  Then kissing all the way to his office door.  Kissing while he fumbled with the keys.  Giggling when he dropped them.  He knelt down to grab them then slowly kissed up my leg and nearly sent me through the roof when he licked my inner thigh just before he stood back up.

We kissed as we ripped each other’s clothes off, fell onto his leather couch and within seconds he was inside me.  I don’t know how long it lasted.  I had the quickest, most powerful orgasm of my life though.  Followed by another when he finally came.

For a few minutes he laid on top of me, both of us trying to catch our breath.  In an attempt to get up he moved his leg and it made a horrible fart sound against the leather couch.  We both laughed uncontrollably until he just collapsed on top of me.  We laid there in each other’s arms for a long time.  I think we even fell asleep.  After about an hour we sobered up and realized it was time to go home.

I drove back with him.  We talked the entire time without mentioning our spouses even once.  It was bliss.  We’re meeting again tomorrow night.  I feel like a new woman.  I have something to look forward to.

I am inspired.

Tables are turning, spinning, flying…

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turn tables

Things have calmed down a bit since I again have the upper hand.  I know that sounds horrible and  unhealthy but my marriage is over, so while we’re stuck here together this works out much better for me.

So here is what the upper hand gets me:

My membership restored at the Club…okay, that’s it but I’m satisfied.  No other gym has a pool and hot tub.  I really miss those things.

I know I jokingly only briefly mentioned my Greg encounter  earlier this week.  I was sort of mortified over it, still am.  I met him at Starbucks again but this time no BJ.  It was obvious that’s what he “came” for though and that was a total turn off.  Who does he think he is anyway?  He can just call me and I’ll show up to service him?  How arrogant.   I don’t even like him.  I still can’t even believe I did it.  For me it was more like a revenge against my husband thing.  I used him dammit!  What a stupid thing to do.  Just what I needed too…more little things to chip away at my self esteem.

I’m taking the kids on vacation in a couple of weeks.  We’re going to visit my Mother in Naples, FL.  Can’t wait to get out of here for a while.  I wonder if Eric and Cindy will have sex in my bed.  Eww.  He swears he’s not seeing her but he forgets, because he’s a total idiot, that I can check who he calls on our cell phone bill.  They text all the time and he’s had to go out to get milk a couple of times this week.  He’s never done that the whole time we’ve been married.  Does he think I’m stupid?  I wonder what she’s telling Ryan.

I think the kids know something is going on although I’m trying extra hard to act like everything is normal.  I’m probably over doing it.  They’re smart kids.

Looking forward to the hot tub tomorrow.  And I’m up to page 47 on my novel!

My life seemed so boring, uninspired and normal two months ago.  Not sure I like this better yet.  Time will tell.

Seeking Higher Ground

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On the mountains of truth you can never climb in vain: either you will reach a point higher up today, or you will be training your powers so that you will be able to climb higher tomorrow.

– Friedrich Neitzsche

Last night I caught Cindy, Ryan’s wife, and Eric kissing in her car.  Need to meditate on this a while.

The Fat Lady is Singing

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fat lady is singing     It’s been a busy week.  Here are some exciting updates:

  1. I’ve lost 15 pounds since New Year’s Eve.
  2. I joined a new gym and on day two ran into one of the bitchy football Mom husbands, Greg,  who has an office next door.  I assume since he was eager to talk to me, he’s heard the legend of Nicole and thinks I’m a desperate housewife ho.
  3. Ryan’s bitch of a wife, Cindy, implemented her new strategy to ruin my life for powdering her locker and lusting after her husband…she and some of her friends took Eric out for drinks this week.  Awesome.
  4. Day 3 of the gym, met Greg at Starbucks and after, gave him a blowjob in his car.
  5. Found a great new recipe for a healthier Mac & Cheese, using whole wheat noodles!  Yummmm!
  6. I consulted a divorce attorney.  Listen to that lady sing!  And check out her tribute to Madonna!

Have a nice week!

The Scarlet Letter

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I guess I should have known this was coming.  I guess in a way I sort of, kind of deserve it.  Ryan’s bitch of a wife talked to Eric.  She told him what I did to her locker and gave her guess as to why.  Was her guess right?  Am I hot for her hubby?  Well, yes.  But that was only part of the reason.  The other part, and the only one I admitted to Eric was that she is evil.  She is a horrible, snotty bitch who somehow managed to transport me back to high school.  Am I proud of what I did?  Not really….or a little.  I don’t know.  But life at home is worse than ever.  He really thinks he has the upper hand and what happened on New Year’s Eve has somehow washed away his sins.

I’m over it.  I will wear the scarlet letter.  But if I’m going to wear it, I’m going to do it justice.

On a more positive note, I’m about 20 pages into my first novel.  It’s a dark tale so this crap is actually helping.  I have to put this all into perspective.  The most important thing here is…I am a Mom.  I need to maintain my dignity and be strong for my kids.  At this point, the way I feel, divorce is inevitable.  I don’t want to put them through anything worse than that.  I guess being a parent means you have to be the bigger person sometimes.  Not always easy but it’s what I teach them so…lead by example.  I sure will try.  They’re really great kids.

I think I’ll go make them a special dinner now.  Jack ass will probably think I did it for him though, in effort to make up for my sins.  Maybe I’ll add extra pepper to his dish.

Emotional Prisoner

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prison Something has to change because this is unbearable.  Somehow, I’m now the bad guy. Eric’s the one who cheated on me. I went out on New Year’s Eve and was drugged by a slimy swinger.  Not equal crimes in my book.  Not that I’m taking taking score on who did the worst thing…but what he did was way worse.  I did feel guilty for a couple of  days but that’s worn off.  Especially since he’s really milking it.

I’m over that.  The cow has dried up folks.

That just covers the problems my “incident” caused in my home.  Outside of my home, I’m officially the town ho.  YAY!  Sat in the car at the football fields today wearing big, Jackie O sunglasses and a bandanna.  I’m sure that may have fooled people who didn’t already recognize my car.  I think that X stuff may have caused some brain damage…I have to look into that.

So my goal now is to continue writing and find a new gym.  Maybe get a sex change and move to Argentina.  Just kidding.  I’d move to Paris.

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