I never considered myself a prude until recently. I like sex and admit to being a bit “pervy” on occasion but this whole fetish culture, which seems more visible since the “Fifty Shades of Grey” phenomenon, it just boggles my mind what some of these people are into. I’m even more shocked at how many people act out these weird and sometimes disturbing fetishes.
So now that I’m heading back into the dating scene, I guess I need to figure out where I draw the line. And how do I let guys know where my line is? That’s sort of an odd conversation to have on a first date. Seated at a table in a nice restaurant, asking those typical first date “getting to know you” questions:
HIM: “I’ve heard they have really great steaks here. What’s your favorite food?”
ME: “I don’t eat red meat but I love fish. Have you ever licked anyone’s toes?”
HIM: “Excuse me?”
ME: “Or used someone as a human toilet? Have you ever found an animal “attractive”?
HIM: “Are you joking?”
ME: “Just answer the questions please. Do you own any leather garments besides a jacket? Do you believe pantyhose are just for women?”
HIM: “This is ridiculous.”
ME: “Just one more question. Other than when you were a child, have you ever worn a diaper or dressed up in a furry costume?”
HIM: “I will not sit through any more of these questions. And for your information, dressing up in a furry costume and rubbing against my plushy friends is not strange. It’s comforting. Goodbye Nicole, you prude.”
Good thing my kids are grown cus I don’t think I could ever go to Disney World again.