Seems like only yesterday I complained about being a bored housewife. Now, five months later, I’m an accessory to a crime.
As planned, I met Lambert Saturday night. He wanted to go somewhere private so we met behind an abandoned building at the edge of town. After all the stress I’d been under, I was looking forward to a little demented fun. Unfortunately fun was not what he had in mind.
We sat in his car. Lambert wasn’t his usual mysterious, feisty self. Instead he was high-strung and nervous. Immediately he broke out the photo album.
“I have to show you something”. He was excited, like he couldn’t wait to show me.
He opened to a photo of a man in his late 50’s, bald head and hairy chest, in a diaper with a pacifier in his mouth. Ewww. I don’t get how this could possibly turn someone on.
“Does he look familiar to you?” Lambert asked. “Focus on his face.”
Lambert covered the guy’s body with his hand. Actually, he did look familiar. Holy shit…who the hell is that? I knew him but just couldn’t place him.
Lambert couldn’t wait anymore, “It’s Principal Burke”.
Oh my God it was. I was in total shock. “Why are you showing me this?”
“That bastard Burke has done nothing but give me a hard time since I began teaching there. I’ve put in fifteen years. He was just a teacher when I started.”
Lambert was angry, this can’t be good. “What are you gonna do?”
“I want him out, but not before he gives me a glowing recommendation for Vice Principal.”
“That’s blackmail”, I said. No shit, Captain Obvious. “I don’t want to be involved in this”.
“You’re already involved Nicole. But don’t worry, he’ll do anything to keep this from coming out. Just think of it as payment for getting you out of trouble that night.”
“It sounds like you’re blackmailing me”. I was pissed but also scared shitless.
“Do you really expect me to just sit on this information? That sounds pretty hypocritical from someone who broke into her step sister’s house.”
He had a point. Lately I’ve been the queen of revenge. Dammit. “You’re sure he’ll comply?”
“Nicole, this would ruin him if it got out.” He was very convincing but then he took my hand and turned on the smolder. “I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”
I kept thinking, he knows that I know he stole all my underwear. Are we never going to mention that? Then, he kissed me.
He unbuttoned my blouse as he kissed my neck then lightly nibbled my ear and whispered, “Are you with me Nicole?”
I just have no willpower over this sexy, deviant, blackmailing underwear thief. “Yes, Mister Lambert. I’m with you.”