Vice: a behavior or habit generally considered immoral, depraved, or degrading. Synonyms for vice include: depravity, sin, wickedness, and corruption.
So what’s my favorite vice?
It’s not chocolate or vodka…or chocolate vodka.
It’s not ice cream or tattoos…or ice cream tattoos.
It’s not johnsons or flashy clothes…or Johnsons in flashy clothes.
My favorite vice is…Vice Principal Lambert.
Officially announced at last night’s school board meeting: due to “personal reasons” Principal Burke handed in his resignation. Effective immediately, current VP Beth Little will take over as Principal and Mr. Lambert as Vice Principal.
The meeting was pretty crowded and they both gave brief “thank you” speeches. Lambert thanked his co-workers for their support, thanked Mr. Burke for his “recommendation” and lastly he said:
“I also want to thank the most important woman in my life. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be where I am now”…
I looked around the room trying to figure out who the hell he was going to thank.
“Nicole”…HOLY SHIT!!…”Lambert”…HUH??? “My mother“.
His mother’s name is Nicole? Ding, ding, ding…we have reached the top of the Creep-O-Meter.
“Come up here Mom”. We all watched old Mother Lambert inch up to the stage with her walker.
“My Mother taught me everything I know. Thank you Mom.”
Everything? I guess I should thank her too. Thanks Mrs. Lambert! Now can you please tell your son to give me my undies back?