Must I remove myself from reality? Remain repressed, restrain resentment, regretting my response to reprehensible acts by repulsive riffraff? Ridiculous. I rejoice at the results of my refusal to retreat. I reject responsibility for any ramifications and recognize that my recovery is relevant. I am relaxed, rejuvenated and resolved to rebound.
That being said, I am not responsible and feel no remorse for the following:
- My impending divorce.
- Eric’s old fling Lisa relocating her job after receiving an anonymous letter at work informing her she smelled like a rotten fish.
- Principal Burke’s sudden retirement.
- My evil step-sister Shannon’s mysterious disappearance.
Yep, you heard me right. The bitch is gone. Last night Carol called in a panic asking if I’d seen her. Of course I had not. Then she asked if I would find out if Eric has heard from her. This leads me to believe Carol is well aware that Shannon and Eric are messing around. Jesus, if you can’t trust a cat crazy magnet crafter these days, who can you trust?
So, I asked Eric and it went something like this:
“Eric, Carol called very upset. She believes Shannon has disappeared and wanted me to ask if you’ve seen her.”
“Why would I have seen Shannon? She’s your sister. Why would I have seen your sister? What are you implying?”
“I’m not implying anything you fucking moron, I’m relaying a message from Carol. If anyone is implying something, she is.”
“I think you both are, now that you’re best friends. Hanging out, making magnets together.”
“How did you know I hung out with Carol? I never told you that.” Ha! Let’s hear what you have to say now….
“I know things Nicole. I know more than you think I know. I happen to know all about so much around here that my head hurts. It’s a lot of information and I have it all stored and it’s going to come out at the right time and you’re not going to look so smart when it does come out.”
“Like I know you went out and bought all new underwear. Who did you do that for? That’s right. I found the receipt and don’t think I won’t use that in court. Men know why women buy new underwear so don’t act all innocent with me. I know what you’re up to, I know. How dare you accuse me of anything. I’m not putting up with that. No sir. I’m outta here.”
With that he zipped up his bag, threw it over his shoulder and headed up the stairs but before he reached the top I got in a quick response.
Through the rail I could see his feet stop on the top step. I can only guess what was going through his head at that moment. “Whaaaa. Whaaaa. Whaaaa!”
Then he left. Goodbye fuckwad!
Before my relaxing and celebratory bubble bath I texted Lambert. We chatted about Shannon and he said he might have an idea what happened to her. Oh God…now what? We’re meeting tomorrow night to discuss it. Calgon, take me away…..