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Monthly Archives: June 2013

Top Secret Mission – Codename: Nightcrawler

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bait 1You can’t conduct a successful mission without a cool codename.  And no, I’m not a Marvel fan so simmer down comic book geeks. It’s a fishing reference.  When I was little, I used to go with my Dad and always felt sorry for those “Nightcrawler” worms he used as bait. Poor things, dangling off a hook, awaiting their doom.  Much like me this week except, I was man bait.

Lambert and I were supposed to go on another stakeout the night after prom, but he cancelled.  Apparently his mother busted her knee falling off a paddle board.  Now we all saw Mother Lambert the night  he was appointed Vice Principal, no way that old bat was getting on a paddle board. I think prom night spooked him. I’m surprised but then, not surprised.  I’m surprised because we were so close on prom night, at one point I actually thought he was going to tell me he loved me.  But I’m not surprised because…he’s a guy, we got close, he panicked.

Not wanting to go to jail, I really needed to find out what happened to Shannon (A.K.A. “Shanny the Nanny”), so I did the stakeout on my own.  Lambert told me to text him if anything happened.  Honestly, I had only planned to stay a couple hours but I wasn’t in front of Senator Richard’s house ten minutes before he came out and took off in his Jaguar.  Still setting up my snacks, I nervously scrambled to get my mini-van started.  My hummus platter fell to the floor as I raced to catch up with him. I tailed him for an hour before he finally stopped to get gas.  I started to freak because it looked like the Senator was headed to the city and Lambert wasn’t returning my texts.

I decided to keep following him.  Even through the Lincoln Tunnel, his Jag was no match for my mini van and years of experience zipping my kids to/from school and practices.  Luckily we only drove a few blocks into the city before he pulled in a secured lot and gave his keys to a valet, who seemed to know who he was. I double parked and watched as he approached a steel door, punched a security code on a keypad then enter.  Shit!!  I should have grabbed my binoculars!

I wasn’t sure what to do.  I sent Lambert another text but still, no reply. As I sat there, a BMW pulled into the lot, a man got out and headed to the door.  This time I grabbed my binoculars and aimed it at the keypad.  “198374”.  Got it, but now what? As the valet got in the BMW I made a snap decision.  I left the car double parked, waited for the valet to pull away then ran over to the steel door.  My hands shook as I punched in the code, 9-1-8-7-3-4.  “ACCESS DENIED”.  Shit! I had the numbers jumbled up.  I tried a couple more times with no success.  The valet saw me as he headed back to his booth.

“Hey!  Are you supposed to be here?” he yelled.

One last chance…1-9-8-3-7-4…the door unlocked.  I quickly slipped in.  Whew.

It was dark inside.  I stood by the door as my eyes adjusted.

Holy shit.  What the fuck is this place?

(to be continued…)

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