You can’t conduct a successful mission without a cool codename. And no, I’m not a Marvel fan so simmer down comic book geeks. It’s a fishing reference. When I was little, I used to go with my Dad and always felt sorry for those “Nightcrawler” worms he used as bait. Poor things, dangling off a hook, awaiting their doom. Much like me this week except, I was man bait.
Lambert and I were supposed to go on another stakeout the night after prom, but he cancelled. Apparently his mother busted her knee falling off a paddle board. Now we all saw Mother Lambert the night he was appointed Vice Principal, no way that old bat was getting on a paddle board. I think prom night spooked him. I’m surprised but then, not surprised. I’m surprised because we were so close on prom night, at one point I actually thought he was going to tell me he loved me. But I’m not surprised because…he’s a guy, we got close, he panicked.
Not wanting to go to jail, I really needed to find out what happened to Shannon (A.K.A. “Shanny the Nanny”), so I did the stakeout on my own. Lambert told me to text him if anything happened. Honestly, I had only planned to stay a couple hours but I wasn’t in front of Senator Richard’s house ten minutes before he came out and took off in his Jaguar. Still setting up my snacks, I nervously scrambled to get my mini-van started. My hummus platter fell to the floor as I raced to catch up with him. I tailed him for an hour before he finally stopped to get gas. I started to freak because it looked like the Senator was headed to the city and Lambert wasn’t returning my texts.
I decided to keep following him. Even through the Lincoln Tunnel, his Jag was no match for my mini van and years of experience zipping my kids to/from school and practices. Luckily we only drove a few blocks into the city before he pulled in a secured lot and gave his keys to a valet, who seemed to know who he was. I double parked and watched as he approached a steel door, punched a security code on a keypad then enter. Shit!! I should have grabbed my binoculars!
I wasn’t sure what to do. I sent Lambert another text but still, no reply. As I sat there, a BMW pulled into the lot, a man got out and headed to the door. This time I grabbed my binoculars and aimed it at the keypad. “198374”. Got it, but now what? As the valet got in the BMW I made a snap decision. I left the car double parked, waited for the valet to pull away then ran over to the steel door. My hands shook as I punched in the code, 9-1-8-7-3-4. “ACCESS DENIED”. Shit! I had the numbers jumbled up. I tried a couple more times with no success. The valet saw me as he headed back to his booth.
“Hey! Are you supposed to be here?” he yelled.
One last chance…1-9-8-3-7-4…the door unlocked. I quickly slipped in. Whew.
It was dark inside. I stood by the door as my eyes adjusted.
Holy shit. What the fuck is this place?